19. Candle

Every year it's different.

In the first years, it was exciting. Another candle added to the cake and new things to look forward to. Then as time wears on, the more candles that are added, the more things seem to go wrong.
Perhaps wrong is not the right word.
Complicated. Days became wrapped in unnecessary complications.
Suddenly the sight of the candles, the ceremony of celebrating, and the reminder that this used to be fun all become unbearable. Is it like this for everyone? Or just you? You wonder.
In the weeks leading up, there is a sense of dread where excitement used to be. Gifts are not so interesting and the crowd around the table becomes smaller and smaller. Work through, avoid it if you can, just another day.
Passed are the milestones, meander through the decades between the next one and the last. It takes work to become excited. It takes strength to let yourself celebrate, to enjoy seeing the candles added, lit up, and blown out once more.
Find the way. Even if you have to buy the loudest or most elaborate candle to put on top of that cake. Let it crack the hard-shelled cynicism with its explosive flair. Allow a beautiful thing to be a beautiful thing. Let there be a lightness to the day, even just for a minute. It doesn’t have to be so morose to see another candle added. It is never guaranteed. It is an achievement. It is a privilege.