30. Moss

Michelle stares at the view from her son’s living room. It’s more awful than she expected.

Grizzly skies and dark pine trees fill the wide windows. She can’t wrap her head around it. Why would anyone want to live here? She stares at the moss forming on the rocks in the garden bed and feels herself frowning.
“Is everything okay, Michelle?” Mara asks. She looks at her daughter-in-law, the reason her son uprooted and left her, and tries to think of what would be a safe thing to say.
“Just a bit cold,” Michelle answers. Technically, it isn’t a lie. She’s been cold ever since she stepped off the damn plane.
“Would you like a coffee? I’m about to make one myself,” Mara offers. What Michelle really wants is a pair of wool socks and for her son to move closer to home. Instead, she turns down the drink.
Mara goes about making her own, fiddling with the complicated machine. Michelle can’t imagine that it was worth the money. Just looking at it feels expensive. This isn’t the life she’d envisioned for her son. The coffee machine makes a screeching sound that puts Michelle on edge. When it finally stops she clears her throat.
“When did he say he’d be home?” She asks quickly.
Mara stirs a teaspoon of sugar into her frothed drink as she answers, “I think he said sometime after three.”
It is not the answer Michelle was hoping for. Mara puts a plate of biscuits on the bench between them. To her quiet dismay, Michelle shows no interest. The kids are both down for a nap and it’s just the two of them. She’s determined to make the best of this.
“Would you like to hang out in the living room? We’ve got all your shows,” Mara offers. Michelle can see how hard she’s trying, but she can’t bring herself to pretend to be okay with all of this. The house, the grim weather, the fancy appliances. It’s too much.
“I think I’ll go read in my room for a bit, or maybe take a nap,” Michelle replies, getting up before Mara can say anything else. As she watches Michelle walk away, Mara quietly wishes her mother-in-law would try not to take all of this so personally.

Michelle stays in her room until the sound of the kids squealing in delight at a car in the driveway piques her interest. Instead of greeting her son, she decides to stay put a bit longer, just until all the fuss dies down. When it finally does, she hears a gentle tap at the door.
“What are you doing hiding in here?” he teases.
“I’m not,” she rolls her eyes, “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.”
“Alright,” he replies as he sits down at the end of the bed.
“So, Mar was thinking we’d go out to Dick’s for burgers tonight, how does that sound?” He smiles.
“I don’t think so, I don’t want to go out in the cold again,” Michelle pulls the blankets up and scooches down into the soft bed.
Her son doesn’t say anything at first, but she knows the look on his face well enough to defensively ask, “What?”
“You’ve been here 3 days, Ma, and you don’t seem to want to do anything,” he says quietly.
Michelle shrugs. She knows she’s being childish but she can’t help it. “I don’t know what there is to do here,” she argues.
Her son avoids her gaze and shakes his head slightly.
“You’ve got to give me something here,” he finally says.
“What is that supposed to mean? I didn’t ask you to move all the way out here.” She can feel herself getting fired up.
“I know you didn’t, but I also should have never let you believe I’d stay home forever either,” her son replies.
Michelle looks at him, barely 35 and trying to defend himself for outgrowing his hometown. A pang of guilt hits her right in the chest.
“We’re all leaving in ten minutes, if you don’t want to go we can bring you something back,” her son says as he gets up and softly closes the door behind him.
She doesn’t say anything and she doesn’t go after him. She hears the house slowly fall silent as they all head out to pick up dinner. When the lock on the front door clicks Michelle climbs out of the bed and pulls her pink furry slippers on. She walks around the quiet house and inspects the framed photos her son has carefully hung in the hallway, the artwork her grandkids have made at preschool stuck to the fridge, and the photos on the mantle from their wedding day.
She’s missing it all and it’s simply because she can’t stand the idea that her son might prefer living in a place that is covered in drizzle and moss.