Redefining Distraction: Taking Ownership of Your Autonomy
By Chelsea Emerick
Shortlisted for The Fountain’s 2023 Essay Contest
There was a time when distraction was associated with mystery. Elusive magic once fell upon the very notion of being distracted. Gaelic folklore graced us with the phrase “away with the fairies,” ¹ charmingly suggesting those of us who struggled to be in the present had mentally checked out for a bit.
In the present, distraction has developed into something more sinister. It has become profitable through consumable media and affiliate marketing. Myths surrounding productivity delude us into thinking that keeping up with every notification equates to being driven. In this essay, we’ll investigate how your relationship with distraction informs how you live a free and fulfilling life where you can be present and focus on the things that truly matter to you.
To make sense of your inability to focus, it's important to understand your relationship with distraction first. Distraction affects us in a multitude of ways. From task hopping at work when your boss pops up with a last-minute request to opting to scroll mindlessly after a long day, distraction plays a role in your life whether you realise it or not. Many of us have accepted that our distracted states are normal. We sit on our phones as a way to decompress and keep up with global events. But surely, this commitment must take a toll. By tuning into an intangible world of communication, you’re ultimately choosing to ignore the world that is around you in the present moment.
To fully understand the hold distraction has over you, you must be aware of the habits you’ve created around it. Whether through your own fault or the normalisation of being constantly accessible, there is no denying that distraction has become a learned behaviour.
I, for one, am no better with this than anyone else. It has taken me years to accept that a new email in my inbox doesn’t require my immediate attention. Things can actually wait. In order to realise that, however, I had to inspect my internal processes and understand why I felt the need to respond to things immediately. I was surprised to find that it came from a place of deep insecurity.
How often do you find yourself at the mercy of notifications that pull you from the present moment? We delude ourselves into thinking we’re being proactive by taking the initiative to respond. We are desperate to engage with something outside of ourselves because it is easy; it gives us a false sense of security and allows us to believe that we are productive and interesting because we are keeping up with the world outside of ourselves.
To regain your focus, you must be able to see the reliance you have on distraction. We use it as a way to ignore unpleasant things in our lives because it is less effort than being accountable for the things that are within our control. If I waste my mornings keeping up with my emails, I can’t possibly find time to get outside and go for a walk before I start my work day, which would ultimately be better for me in the long run.
If you make the conscious decision to understand that your relationship with distraction is the cause of your dissatisfaction with life then you take back your power and enable yourself to build healthier habits that foster focus.
It’s essential to understand the distinction between distraction and attention. In doing so, you’ll begin to see the difference in operating from a place of reactivity, not autonomy. As you observe the distracted habits you’ve developed you can see areas that you feel vulnerable confronting. Are you consuming media because it is useful to you, and you’re paying attention? Or are you using media to pull your focus out of the present?
You can change your mindset towards distraction and understand that it is a choice. You can seek validation in responding to things that vie for your attention online, or, you can choose to turn your attention to the things that matter and bring value to your life. By establishing clear boundaries around distraction, you redefine your priorities and actively choose to restore a balance that serves you in pursuing a wholly fulfilling life.
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Creating clear boundaries around distraction allows you to create habits that build focus. You have all the tools you need readily available to you, it is up to you whether or not you use them. Replacing your phone with a real alarm clock on your bedside table, turning off unnecessary push notifications, and utilising Do Not Disturb settings all reinforce the discipline needed to reduce your reliance on distractions. This takes a small level of commitment and a significant amount of self-awareness around the effects distraction has on you individually.
Limiting your access to external online noise is a crucial part of setting boundaries with distraction. This does not mean becoming some sort of insufferable nonconformist whose personality hinges on being out of touch with the world. It means understanding that passive consumption of media takes a toll on us; knowing where to put your attention and when makes all the difference. Therein lies your power and the key to regaining your focus. A marketing campaign or news outlet can’t use you as a statistic if you’re consciously aware of their motives and know that you’re better off without them.
Immersing yourself in nature is an effective way to break up with your dependence on distraction. An activity that requires you to be present and alert can remove the hold distraction has over you and improve your cognitive function. Activities like walking, swimming, and yoga all provide opportunities to deepen your relationship with the world around you without having to depend on technology. It’s the perfect way to employ strict boundaries, as you do not need your phone to step outside and be in nature, just curiosity and a little bit of initiative.
Through my own practice of setting boundaries around distraction, I found myself to be less concerned about the state of my inbox and more concerned with my quality of life. I slowly became more curious about the world around me and less caught up in the idea that I needed to be busy in order to be purposeful. Instead, my relationship with distraction shifted into something playful, like when I was a child. I found myself daydreaming on commutes, more aware of when my body was hungry, or tired, and more motivated to do things that I would have previously avoided.
By setting boundaries around distraction, life is considerably more satisfying. Phones and laptops are used as tools, rather than sources of validation. I learnt how to maintain my bike thanks to YouTube so I can go on daily rides with my husband. I use my phone to identify birds on my morning walks. Instead of relying on distractions to escape my life, they strategically help me bring value to my life.
This is a conscious act to consume content that is interesting and useful to me in my day-to-day life. I am not watching online creators and comparing myself to them or aspiring to be like them Instead, I am using my phone as a tool that can enrich my life, not shame it. Creating clear habits that break my reliance on distraction as a means of coping with difficulties has made all the difference. I understand that a walk or bike ride serves me better than scrolling.
Awareness was the first step that allowed me to regain my focus and own my autonomy in this process. Choosing balance over distraction has increased my ability to focus and helped me to be more in tune with myself.
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Realising you have control over your distractions is empowering. When you actively choose to observe the impact distraction has on yourself it is hard to ignore the results. By leaving your phone in another room you may find yourself itching to check it after a while. What if you miss something? What if the world comes crashing to an end, and you’re the last to know?
It’s important to understand that you’re reclaiming yourself in this process. You are not losing anything tangible. Fear of missing out on your routine diet of content, work emails, or news, is more so a fear of facing the world that is within your reach. As musician Tom Rosenthal says, “That world that’s in your pocket is not the world/the world is the one that lies before your feet.”² What you’re really facing is fear of your own autonomy.
It can be confronting when you realise you’re responsible for your own joy as much as you are for your own misery. Especially if this is not something you have ever considered before. Thich Nhat Hanh expertly said, “We have lost sight of the reality that we already have all the conditions we need for our own happiness.”³
Distraction plays a critical role in how you own your autonomy and happiness. If you decide to keep the same stagnant habits, you’ll never be able to focus. Only through questioning the motivation behind distraction and testing what happens when you change your habits will you find your ability to focus.
In my experience, redefining what I understand distraction to be has helped \significantly. When I create periods of time to zone out or be present with my loved ones, the notion of being distracted shifts. Distraction is no longer some negative thing I have no control over but a signal.
Nowadays, when I am distracted it means I am avoiding something. Distraction no longer feels like something that is clouding my view but, instead, waving a flag at me and saying, “Hey! Something is going on and you’re trying to avoid it!”
Sometimes, my old habits of distraction creep in because I don’t want to do housework. Other times, it is because I am uncomfortable facing something bigger, like a conversation where I have to assert myself. I have also come to understand that employing distraction as a means of ignoring my problems doesn’t help me. In fact, if I opt to stay distracted I find myself more anxious, less communicative, and more self-critical.
As you become aware of when you’re leaning into distraction as a means of avoidance you’ll find yourself facing the choice of doing what is easy or what is best for you. Ironically, making the conscious decision to do what is best for you becomes easier each time. Eventually, it brings clarity to what you thought was the easy choice; in reality, this was the fear-based choice. For some, the idea of facing the unfamiliar is scarier than sitting in a place that is unhelpful to us. If you never take a risk then you’ll know the results to expect.
It is vital that you remember your power in choosing where you put your attention. By committing to being focused you cannot succumb to the false idea that distraction is normal and out of your control. Instead, you can rebuild your relationship with distraction and see it for what it really is, just one of the many aspects of being human. It does not have to be something that another person or entity can profit from by pandering for your attention.
Distraction is not a weakness no more than sitting or dancing is. It is just a thing we as people do. We get distracted. When distracted without being subject to subliminal advertising or corporate greed we actually further develop our ability to focus. Having the freedom to tune out and follow distractions gives our brains the rest we need in order to regulate our nervous systems and have fun. Helping us feel more balanced and strengthening our ability to focus.
Establishing your autonomy and creating habits that develop your ability to focus means that distraction is no longer a force that you’re susceptible to. Instead, distraction has the ability to be light once again. It is no longer littered with negative connotations around laziness.
You have the opportunity to redefine what you understand distraction to be. It is up to you to manage your relationship with distraction and take action in order to be focused. While we cannot change or control the external factors that bay for our attention, we can manage ourselves and make the conscious choice to be accountable for our autonomy. We can choose to be present and focus in an era of distraction.
Bibliography
“Away with the Fairies Meaning and Sentences.” Literary Devices, October 11, 2019.
https://literarydevices.net/away-with-the-fairies/.Hanh, Thich Nhat. “Happiness in Every Breath.” Happiness in Every Breath, June 10, 2021.
https://www.lionsroar.com/happiness-in-every-breath/.Tom Rosenthal. Spotify. You Might Find Yours. London, 2019.